


Anagapesis

by bicroft



Series: SidGeno Tumblr Prompts [16]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 04:21:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13240323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bicroft/pseuds/bicroft
Summary: Zhenya kept waiting not to love Sid.





	Anagapesis

**Author's Note:**

> TWO prompts in 24 hours? who AM i, summer jack?? 
> 
> anon asked for "Anagapesis for sidgeno, but i dare you to do a happy ending for them (pls!)", so!!! here it is!

* * *

_Anagapesis - The feeling when one no longer loves someone they once did.  _

* * *

 

Zhenya kept waiting not to love Sid.

Not that he _wanted_ not to love Sid- the exact opposite, really. Zhenya really, genuinely thought Sid was, could, and _should_ be The One capital letters and all. It was just… he’d thought the same thing about Okasana, and about the girl _before_ her, and the girl _after_ her, and every single person he’d dated since he was old enough to have any concept of what a relationship was.

Zhenya was the kind of person who was quick to feel; it was easy for him to fall in love with someone. Almost within moments of knowing someone, he could fall for a trait or two, and then the rest of them as they got to know each other. His heart was big enough, he always liked to think, that it never really hurt to love someone.

The trouble with how quick he was to fall, though, was that it was almost just as simple for him to fall _out_ of love with someone. Not that he’d _hate_ the people- he wouldn’t, couldn’t. Zhenya typically didn’t hate anyone who wasn’t a Flyer, or an otherwise generally shitty person. But, somewhere along the way, he’d usually just… wake up, and find himself no longer enchanted the same way by the things that had made him feel so deeply. He’d feel not _cold_ , but, the warmth would be hollow. After that, though, there was very little Zhenya could make himself do to keep the relationship alive; he’d still do his best, make the dates, send the gifts, but there would inevitably always be a fight, or just a drifting apart, and the relationship would end- though, the lack of malice typically kept Zhenya as good friends with his exes.

At first, Zhenya had never thought that this would be a problem with Sid- but, that was mostly because he never thought he’d have a _chance_ with him as anything other than a friend, and, Zhenya was _very_ easy to be friends with, usually. There was a lot to love about Sid, though, and Zhenya would have been lying if he said he didn’t dream of there being something else.

Dreaming was safe until they weren’t just dreams anymore, though, and even if Zhenya didn’t regret starting this with Sid, would never regret a _moment_ he spent kissing him, or holding him, or telling him how much he meant to him, he couldn’t shut off the part of him that was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Every day, he’d wake up, and he’d be so, so deeply in love, and every night, he’d fall asleep and do everything short of _pray_ that he’d get to feel the same way in the morning.

And, so far, he _did_. But, that never seemed to silence the fear.

The thing was, though- the thing that set Sid apart from every other person before him- was that Zhenya didn’t _want_ things to go wrong. It wasn’t even that he couldn’t afford them to. He _couldn’t_ , couldn’t chance the idea of somehow messing up the team or either or their professional relationship because of a mangled romantic one, but, that wasn’t the part that bothered him. He and Sid had already talked about _that_ , and he didn’t even think they’d stop being _friends_ , if shit did hit the fan. They had both been playing professional sports for too long to hold grudges against people they knew they were going to have to keep playing with, and they’d been friends for too long to let this ruin a decade of good blood.

The thing was that, now that he had it, Zhenya couldn’t _imagine_ not waking up next to Sid every day for the rest of his life. It wasn’t just that he _wanted_ it to happen, like he had with everyone before; legitimately, he couldn’t imagine it as anything other than the worst cast scenario. The summers they’d weathered apart like this had been something close to hell, in the mornings where time zones and obligations hadn’t at least permitted them to Skype each other in to wake up with, and one of the most reliving parts of getting back home to Pittsburgh in the fall were those first few nights he got to spend with Sid curled into his side again.

Now that he knew how Sid looked after he kissed him, how Sid laughed when Zhenya said something gooey and romantic, how the words “I love you” sounded when he said them, Zhenya couldn’t _fathom_ what it would be like to never know those things again, to let them fade to memories the same way his past relationships had, where he could look back and smile, but not feel like he was losing his breath every time he thought about the first time Sid had kissed him like he was right there back in the moment.

So, Zhenya waited, and feared, and waited and feared, and waited and feared-

And, it maybe took him longer than it should have to wake up and go _oh_.

“Sid,” he whispered, because the sun still wasn’t quite up, so it was far, far before even Sid was going to be awake. “Sid.”

“Mhm,” Sid replied, wriggling further down onto the bed. One of his eyes just barely cracked open before it fell shut again, and Zhenya felt his heart fluttering all over again. “S’up, G?”

“I love you,” Zhenya said, like it was a revelation.

Sid huffed a laugh and scooted closer, rolling so that his head was resting on Zhenya’s chest. “I love you, too,” he said. “Go to sleep.”

“No.” Zhenya shook his head. “No is- I’m _love you_ , like… like I’m never love anyone else before.”

“Me too,” Sid said, cracking his eyes open again. “Geno, really, you know I’m all for you doing stuff like this but it’s- geez, is it even five am right now? What’re you doing up?”

“I love you,” Zhenya said, like that was an answer- it _was_ an answer, Sid just wasn’t getting it. “Love you like… want to spend rest of life with you.”

 _That_ got Sid’s attention. His eyes finally opened the whole way, and he sat up, blinking for a few seconds before he spoke. “G,” he said slowly. “Was that- are you _proposing to me_ before the sun comes up?”

Now it was Zhenya’s turn to blink, because… was he? “Not proposing,” he said. “I’m not propose without ring and romantic things, Sid, you’re know this.”

“You do like your rom com shit, yeah,” Sid said, and he was back to smiling now.

“This is… pre-proposal,” Zhenya said. “Is… I’m want you to know that… proposal is something I’m want. Want to spend rest of life with you, marry you, see you every day forever. Have- family, kids. Everything.”

“If I was more awake, I’m pretty sure you’d be making me cry, Geno.” Sid sounded a little close to it now, laying back down and spooning back up next to Zhenya. “I want that too, yeah? And we can talk about it, just… when it’s light outside. In the morning?”

“In the morning,” Zhenya echoed, feeling like a weight had lifted off his shoulders and his eyes had opened for the first time as he pressed a kiss to Sid’s forehead and settled back in himself.

“Love you,” Sid said, half a yawn as he closed his eyes again and fell silent.

“I love you, too,” Zhenya said- and, he did. Really, truly, and forever, he did.

**Author's Note:**

> as always, you can find and prompt me on tumblr @sidsknee. <3


End file.
